I Chose Love

By Nykky Coxon 6/8/25

I grew up with one household of two that was strictly Christian. We went to church 2-4 times a week. A man had to deliver the word of god to us, since we weren't worthy of speaking to god ourselves. Especially if you were born female! Our family had forced bible time every night. Nature is very sacred and is the closest thing I have to a church these days. I have daily practices that include something similar to prayer, doing something to better nature and/or the human world, and whatever else I feel is needed. No middle man is necessary. I am my own shaman, priest, pastor, etc. I believe that everyone is worthy of connection to our creator. I have no bible, but I read many books on various pagan topics for study. 

I was born pagan, I believe. Nature was my first safe place in my early years. I began reading Jean Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear series when I was 9 (forewarning: these are NOT childrens books!). Those books showed me another way of life and thinking that made so much more sense to me than what I was currently living. Everything felt so hate based with Christianity, and I got to see what a love based society could look like. Of course I chose love!

My advice for others looking to find a spiritual practice they connect to is to listen with your heart! What you are seeking is closer than you may think. Spiritual practices can look like a walk in the woods, celebrating the phases of the moon, creating art, growing food and medicine, helping an animal in need, etc.

I have not found a larger spiritual community, but I still hold onto hope that I will. It is difficult going it alone at times, but as a person who is queer, spiritually different, and neurodivergent- I've lived a more solitary life than I ever wanted. My queerness has helped answer many of the burning questions I've had! Like why would god have a gender? If god had a gender, then god came from reproducing parents, and therefore isn't what we were told at all. Whatever our creator may be, I believe it to be genderless. As an afab nonbinary trans, gender has been a huge thing for me my whole life. I've never been able to accept that one gender is superior to the other. That has rendered me incapable of believing in any patriarchy based religion. The kind of things we have been witnessing in 2025 aren't new. We've been through much of it before, and we should know better than to keep letting history repeat itself. Never forget the atrocities that have been done to pagan peoples by peoples of patriarchal religions and powers! 

My queerness has helped answer many of the burning questions I've had! Like why would god have a gender? If god had a gender, then god came from reproducing parents, and therefore isn't what we were told at all. Whatever our creator may be, I believe it to be genderless. As an afab nonbinary trans, gender has been a huge thing for me my whole life. I've never been able to accept that one gender is superior to the other. That has rendered me incapable of believing in any patriarchy based religion. The kind of things we have been witnessing in 2025 aren't new. We've been through much of it before, and we should know better than to keep letting history repeat itself. Never forget the atrocities that have been done to pagan peoples by peoples of patriarchal religions and powers! 

My beliefs are a big part of who I am and how I operate. If I see anyone in need, I do what I can to help. This includes animals, insects, plants, and humans too. I try to be the good I want to see in the world. I wish more people understood that their fear of me and what I believe is unnecessary, just like all the fear of the LGBTQIA+ community. Please try to understand us before you take the easy path and choose to hate us.